Category Archives: Unemplyment



So I finally received a decision from SSDI. It’s a big fat NO!!! Am I surprised? No I am not. It seems as though they automatically deny all applications. I’m struggling now but not at my worse since the weather hasn’t completely switched. The Winter and Spring are the hardest times of the year. I’m sure I could go for a fair hearing but I’m going to try to do without.. Even though I’ve paid into the system for the past 30 years. Well if it gets to hard this Winter I will have to re-apply.

Please leave any helpful hints as to how to get approved for SSDI (fibromyalgia)

Until next time.

Fibromyalgia Guilt..

mommy-guiltguilt_got-guilt-buttonOkay this is going to be short, sweet and to the point.  As someone who suffers from fibromyalgia also suffers from overwhelming guilt. What do I mean by that? I’ll to you, this syndrome is so inconsistent, it’s impossible to make any futuristic plans. I say that now, even though it’s taken me nine years to reconcile myself to the fact I have now become unreliable.  Which is sad in itself.


For example on Sunday I could speak with my mother to make plans to see her on Wednesday, come Wednesday morning I can’t move due to lack of energy, body pain, stiffness and swelling.   So now here comes the phone call at the last minute trying to explain why I will be a no-show once again.  Usually family members understand after years of dealing with my inconsistent behaviors. However to explain to your boss, today is not a good day, doesn’t go over well.


And let’s not forget the lack of energy equals the lack of household contributions. There are times that my partner has worked 10 hour shifts to come home to a sink of dirty dishes because I can’t muster up the energy to clean. Once again guilt kicks in, I’m just fortunate enough to have someone who understands. However just because they understand does not mean I don’t feel guilty.

So for all you No Shows, there is nothing we can do about that. We have to just be totally honest with those who we deal with on a daily basis whether it’s:  loved ones, employers or the community we can only do what we can do.  So feeling guilty about not being able to participate at will is just something we have to live with. Being guilty only increases the emotionally depressing side of this syndrome.  As a wrap up you can only do what you can do, give the rest to God.  Till next time.





Is it Pain? or Do I Need An Attitude Adjustment?

Yes it’s time for one of my personal experience rants…

  1. (of a person) wretchedly unhappy or uncomfortable.
    “their happiness made Anne feel even more miserable”
    2. pitiably small or inadequate.
    “all they pay me is a miserable $10,000 a year”


Am I the only one who is known as the cranky one, the angry one, the mean one or the snippy one?  Same thing when I was working.  No one understands that I am never totally pain free.  Every little movement that others take for granted is a chore for me.   With that said I snapped this past week on the family.  Any cleaning or house work I get done is by sheer miracle and struggle so for someone to come behind me after I have mopped with dripping hands (after washing hands in sink) then leave foot prints or spill something without completely cleaning it drive me crazy.  Why?  I’ll tell you why, after I have have mopped I’m down for days following and let’s not talk about the pain during.   Then for someone to come behind me as if it’s no big deal infuriates me. Most people can do something as simple as cleaning but for someone like me it’s painful and takes me down.  Between the fatigue, limbs feeling like weights and pain in all of the usual tender points I feel tutored at times.

Are tender points large areas of pain?

No. The actual size of the point of most tenderness is usually very small, about the size of a penny. These areas are much more sensitive than other nearby areas. In fact, pressure on one of the tender points with a finger will cause pain that makes the person flinch or pull back. Tender points are scattered over the neck, back, chest, elbows, hips, buttocks, and knees…. more

Speaking about tender points my 18 year old son and my 45 year old partner really don’t get how painful their touch can be.   They are both heavy handed and mean no harm but once the pain hits I am demanding that they stop touching me.  Sounds bitchy?  I’m sure, however at that moment I just want the pain to stop.  I am constantly apologizing for sniping at those I love.

                                                          Or Sometimes I’m Just Plain Ole Miserable

My mood is determined by the amount of pain I am experiencing at that moment.  That’s the depressing part, for me I feel as though my body has turned on me and killed the carefree and light side of me.  This time of the year (Fall) is the beginning of like six months of daily misery.  As the weather begins to change into the cold months my body is at it’s worst.  My partner and I are constantly at odds over the window, what she deems comfortable I myself am suffering.  The only other person in my life who can relate to my pain and discomfort is my mother who her self is 89 and suffers from Rheumatoid Arthritis.  Lastly those who love us don’t understand that they add to our despair when they don’t sympathize or at least try to relate to my struggle.


noun \ˈmi-zə-rē, ˈmiz-rē\

plural mis·er·ies

Definition of MISERY

1: a state of suffering and want that is the result of poverty or affliction
2: a circumstance, thing, or place that causes suffering or discomfort
3: a state of great unhappiness and emotional distress

Examples of MISERY

  1. The war brought misery to thousands of refugees.
  2. They were living in overcrowded slums in conditions of great misery.
  3. a source of human misery
  4. the joy and misery of life
  5. The last years of her life were a misery.
  6. Stop being such a misery.
                         So I’m gonna end with “If you were miserable all the time how happy would you be?”

fibromyalgia and sex

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I found this article on

I know this sounds a little crazy but I am space relieved to find that I am not the only one who has no sex life. This is another symptom of fibromyalgia intimacy is very hard at a 18-year-old son and a partner of 10 years that I cannot hug because I am sore and tender to the touch. the slightest touch or pressure hurts extremely, no one understands I believe other than someone else with the same affliction. That’s where I got my idea to create a women’s only site Sirens and Sappho that caters to all women regardless of race status or sexuality. In the decline of my sexual drive a turn to the Internet for stimulation to help and found that it only made me feel cheap and dirty. Everything caters to the satisfaction of named in the using of when and which has never been a turn on for me so hopefully there will be more of us out there where we can discuss and grow our own community to help each other because whether we realize it or not as the article shows below a good sex life is very important physically mentally and emotionally and I would say sometimes spiritually.

fibromyalgia and sex

If you have fibromyalgia, you may also be having problems with your sex life or relationships. You could be experiencing loss of libido or having difficulty with sexual performance. It’s also possible your libido is healthy, but the deep muscle pain and stiffness of fibromyalgia may keep you from enjoying sex the way you used to.

It’s not unusual for people with any chronic illness to complain about having problems with their sex life. But a healthy sex life is important for many reasons. Not only does sex strengthen an intimate relationship, but sexual intercourse boosts endorphins. Those are the body’s natural opioids that help decrease pain and increase well-being. Talking openly with your doctor and following a few practical tips can help you resolve problems associated with fibromyalgia, pain, and sex. Then you can begin to enjoy this aspect of your life again.

more from WebMD

What Causes Loss of Libido With Fibromyalgia?

Some of the medications, such as the SSRI antidepressants like Paxil and Zoloft, used in the treatment of fibromyalgia may cause reduced sex drive. If you take an antidepressant and have problems with libido, talk to your doctor. A simple change of medication or a reduction in dose may improve your sex drive and allow you to enjoy your relationships more.

Also, for some patients, having to deal with the uncomfortable symptoms of fibromyalgia, including the ongoing pain, fatigue, anxiety, and stiffness, is difficult enough without thinking of being physically active with sexual activity. Learning to self-manage these symptoms with medications, exercise, and lifestyle habits may help to boost your sex life.

How Can I Have Sex if I Hurt all Over From Fibromyalgia?

Some fibromyalgia patients give up romantic aspirations for fear of further injury and pain. Yet being intimate with your partner is still possible. With fibromyalgia pain and tender points, you need to work with your partner to find the most comfortable position during sexual intercourse. For instance, if you have fibromyalgia with low back pain, you may find that having your partner on top or lying on his or her side is most comfortable for you. Or, if you’re a woman who has fibromyalgia and hip pain, you might use a pillow between your knees to stabilize your body during sexual intercourse.

Just because you’ve “always had sex this way,” does not mean that’s the only way. You need to be patient, take it slowly, and find the best sexual positions that allow you to be intimate without causing further pain. Keep in mind, there is no right or wrong way to be intimate with your partner.

Can Soaking in a Warm Bath Before Sex Help my Fibromyalgia Pain?

Moist heat, including soaking in a warm bath, can help ease fibromyalgia pain and may allow you to enjoy sexual intercourse — or any exercise — without added pain. Heat increases blood flow to the site and decreases stiffness, important because, along with pain, stiffness is a key symptom of fibromyalgia. Regular moist heat applications or warm baths may help temporarily to alleviate muscle pain or tender point pain, reduce muscle spasms, and decrease inflammation.

When using moist heat, make sure it is not too warm or you can burn your skin. You might soak in a warm bath for at least 15 minutes before sexual intercourse or other physical activity to get the full benefit. You may also soak in a warm bath after sexual intercourse or other physical activity. Other popular types of moist heat include a warm shower (sit on a chair, if needed), warm whirlpool or hot tub, heated swimming pool, and a moist heating pad.

A New Life for this Fibromyalgia Victim

I know it’s been a while since we last spoke but I’ve been very busy. Earlier this year I was laid off which was a blessing in disguise because my body could no longer keep up with the demands of my job. So I decided to start my own home based businesses and I’m going to warn you before hand Sirens and Sappho site is for mature audiences only.

The last nine months I have built sites creating a buzz and updating the information on all sites, as well as promoting my business. Even though I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia about 8-9 years ago I am learning something new everyday. My latest discovery is working around my flare-up, in the cold months is when my body hurts the most, before my period I am it with all symptoms from the mental to the physical to the emotional effects of fibromyalgia.

This is something I have to work on to survive, because other than having my own businesses I wouldn’t be able to make a living. Social Security disability is very hard for fibromyalgia sufferers to get and there are no programs that I have found that take this disease or should I say syndrome seriously. As I’m writing this post every part of my lower body is paining me but what I have realized is I’m always going to be a pain the difference is to what degree. So on those manageable days I try to get as much done as possible. I lose a week out of each month during my PMS stage. now that I’m on my own schedule I know not to plan anything during that time. As I learn more ways around surviving with this syndrome I will keep everyone apprised.

Stay positive.

Concentration Is A Thing Of The Past


Fibro Fog – Fibromyalgia Brain

Yes it’s real, when I’m in the midst of an attack (which lasts for days) trying to form a clear thought or retain information is damn near impossible.  So as you can see I’m trying to study to renew my license and can’t remember a thing I read. Ugh!  I’ll try again later.




What Part of The Body Does It Not Affect ?!?!

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There’s not a part of me that’s not physically affected by Fibromyalgia. At times all symptoms are flared at once.

Here’s the list of my daily struggle:

1. Stumbling
2. Joints swelling
3. Irritable bowel
4. Acid Reflux
5. Dizziness
6. Numbness
7. Extreme Fatigue
8. Brain Fog
9. Wide Spread Pain
10. Nausea
11. Charlie Horse
12. Body / Mind Conflict
13. Extreme Chest Pain
14. Chills

Imagine trying to live your life this way

This Is Getting Worse

I have been dealing with Fibromyalgia for the past 13-14 years. Diagnosed 9 years ago after going from Doctor to Doctor. Emergency room, tests or just plain blown off as a kook. I can honestly say out of 30 days in a month I am pain free 4-5 days. So once again used to pain, only difference is extent of pain and how far spread it is. With that said as we are only on the 8th day of April it has become my nemesis. It’s rained everyday thus far and my body had definitely turned on me. I have been paralyzed with pain and fatigue. And let’s not talk about the brain fog. I can’t hold a complete thought in my head or remember my last thought. Even with all that something new is happening. My left had began getting warm then hot with pain running across knuckles and wrist. Then numb and tingly but this is what happened next….

Living with Fibromyalgia..

How Depressing
I have been living with fibromyalgiafor the last 10 years..wasn’t diagnosed for the first 4 years. It’s one of those medical situations where it’s not considered a disease or recognized by all medical field. For the first 4 years I went back and forth from emergency rooms to doctor appointments to be told that there’s nothing wrong with me. I have even been on a cane not able to use my leg and still told it was all in my head, Once I was diagnosed at Methodist Hospital in Brooklyn, NY I felt a sense of relief..”Im not crazy or a hypercondriac”. The doctor explained that it is a hard illness to diagnose and that it does exsist, fibromyalgia attacks 12 different points of the body

12 points of attack
12 points of attack

When these attacks accur it is one of the most painful and depressing things I have ever had to deal with. It interferes with my sleep, activities and spirit.