Category Archives: Isolation

I’m Fighting Like Hell To Get My Life Back.

I know it’s been an extremely long time since my last post or time spent on this blog. My life has had a lot of despair, depression, extreme fatigue, heartbreak, pain, fear, self-doubt, and anguish in the past few years. Which took me down, but now.. the BITCH is back.

After losing my sister, father, and mother in a span of 3 years straight. At the same time, Trump slid his orange clownish ass down an escalator to steal my country and my democracy, adding to the feeling of dread. All while fighting my own personal battles with Fibromyalgia and Rheumatoid Arthritis. The depression was crippling. So excuse me for the rant that I’m about to indulge. I’m freeing my soul.IMG_1743

 

As my nuclear family had all passed away in a span of three years, my niece decided to have me removed from my mother’s will without my knowledge. Then move into my 4 bedroom apartment with her 3-year-old and husband at the time of my mother’s death.  I was crushed and felt so abandoned because someone I’ve loved, supported and cared for, all while I was fighting my own grief and illnesses, was plotting on me right in my very own home from the very start. My tenant who was paying $750. a month left to accommodate her (which I needed desperately being on a fixed income and all) Then a week later when the first check from my father’s stocks came and she left and did it in such a fuck you manner that it damn near broke me. How did I not see this coming? So she was lying to my face along? I thought she actually loved me as her Aunt. She played me like a fiddle with no regard to the affect it would have on me nor my life. I felt attacked and left myself vulnerable for someone I foolishly trusted.

All the work my father did to provide for our family this little bitch took it and spent it on others outside of the family and to live a ghetto fabulous life. My heartbreak was too much to bear. When I lost my mother I too lost all extended family. No more cousins, nieces and/or nephews. Including a cousin who followed me to Brooklyn turned on me, money can expose a lot. Talk about broken mentally, spiritually, emotionally and physically.  The final nail to this was my own body turning on me.

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It has taken me 4 years to finally get rid of this inner pain and dread. All while those who claim to love me piled on their own personal issues on to my already heavy load. I finally realized that I had to dig deep inside to muster up the courage to start saying “NO”, forgive myself, love myself,  and heal myself. Emotionally, Mentally and Spiritually so that I could move forward with my life. This was much harder to do than I thought. But I believe I’m almost there. It took a couple of years getting my energy and mojo back but here I am. Getting my self-confidence back and the anger and heartbreak in check.

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DAWN OF A NEW DAY:

It’s now my time to shine! I’m putting myself first! I have no more fucks to give to self-absorbed, unsympathetic, unempathetic self-important and users of my kindness and energy! I have for the past 8 years been collecting, data, pricing, and researching so I could start my own business. And I am excited to say: I FINALLY DID IT! I am the proud new owner of

Jou Jou Bee’s Creations Llc. 

I am currently shedding all things and people that are negative and exhausting or emotionally draining. I was so bogged down with negative emotions to the point I couldn’t even get out of the bed. Then I realize these emotions are only adding to the symptoms of my diseases and believe me others don’t care nor believe that they too are contributors to my flare-ups. Once I made the deliberate decision to shed the negative, my life began to change for the better. Lastly, I had to clear my soul to be open enough and well enough to tackle this new endeavor in my life. Stay tuned as I share more of my fight for the core of my soul. I’m going to finish with this my fellow WARRIORS life doesn’t cut you a break because you are sick, hence why we must lighten our load of draining people and/’or situations.

Take Care Now,

LadySway

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It’s The Dawn of a New Day

Me two years ago..

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Me now..

 

It has been a really long time since my last post for so many reasons such as heartbreak, death, betrayal, depression and illness. Now I am ready to fight back with all the power I can muster. My life has been stagnated for almost 2 years, I’m going to start by healing my health, next my mind all while feeding my soul. My soul feels depleted and I needed help jump starting my spiritual side, so I had to start a depression medications to quiet my inner demons. I am determined to fight for my inner peace and healthy existence. I chose Lady Sway as my online presence (name) because I too like a palm tree might bend but I refuse to break!! Join me on my journey to rise like a phoenix from these ashes. That’s it for today, stay tuned.

– Lady Sway

Fibromyalgia and Isolation

 

I’ve always have been comfortable by myself. To the point that I have gone to the movies, concerts, traveled and relocated by myself. Not because I didn’t have anyone but simply if I was ready to make a move, being alone didn’t stop me. Now I almost can’t stand being around others. And if I don’t mind the persons company it’s the other stuff that drives me completely out of my mind. I call this my “Oh Shit Is That Today?” list.

1. At any given time I will need to lay my body down. (Kinda rude going to bed when there’s company)

2. Acting as host is such a chore (cooking, cleaning, being conversational) makes it hard to enjoy guest.

3. I experience a heightened sensory to sounds and touch. (makes being in a group stressful)

4. As an apartment dweller I only have one bathroom (one of my symptoms is irritable bowel syndrome) Now I have to wait. 🙂

5. If we are meeting some where, by the time I’ve arrived I am completely miserable ( over exertion, body pain and fatigue) now who’s in the mood for fun after that.

6. Brain fog days come unannounced (now I’m stuck straining to mentally keep up whew!)

7. Because everything thing or interaction is a struggle I am down for 2-3 days following.

8. I am so cranky by the time I get to where I’m going I begin to lash out at everyone I come in close contact with.

Now you tell me how inviting would you be?

Isolation and Fibromyalgia go hand and hand

English: Common signs and symptoms of fibromya...

English: Common signs and symptoms of fibromya...
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