Fibromyalgia Guilt..

mommy-guiltguilt_got-guilt-buttonOkay this is going to be short, sweet and to the point.  As someone who suffers from fibromyalgia also suffers from overwhelming guilt. What do I mean by that? I’ll to you, this syndrome is so inconsistent, it’s impossible to make any futuristic plans. I say that now, even though it’s taken me nine years to reconcile myself to the fact I have now become unreliable.  Which is sad in itself.

 

For example on Sunday I could speak with my mother to make plans to see her on Wednesday, come Wednesday morning I can’t move due to lack of energy, body pain, stiffness and swelling.   So now here comes the phone call at the last minute trying to explain why I will be a no-show once again.  Usually family members understand after years of dealing with my inconsistent behaviors. However to explain to your boss, today is not a good day, doesn’t go over well.

 

And let’s not forget the lack of energy equals the lack of household contributions. There are times that my partner has worked 10 hour shifts to come home to a sink of dirty dishes because I can’t muster up the energy to clean. Once again guilt kicks in, I’m just fortunate enough to have someone who understands. However just because they understand does not mean I don’t feel guilty.

So for all you No Shows, there is nothing we can do about that. We have to just be totally honest with those who we deal with on a daily basis whether it’s:  loved ones, employers or the community we can only do what we can do.  So feeling guilty about not being able to participate at will is just something we have to live with. Being guilty only increases the emotionally depressing side of this syndrome.  As a wrap up you can only do what you can do, give the rest to God.  Till next time.